The job, Great is HIS Faithfulness

*Please imagine that we are now entering a dream sequence. The likes of Mr. Rogers entering the Land Of Make-believe, as the chime-y music plays and the present fades out, as we step into a vague place of what was*

Sorry, I’m in a goofy mood!

Well, one time, I absolutely knew that I was supposed to *not* do something. I was, however, scared to *not* do that thing. I believe that God had instructed my conscience to be wired in such a way so as to know I was not doing what I ought to be doing. You follow? Good.

I was being disobedient to my creator. He loves me, and respects my wishes, so He allowed me to continue to be disobedient. And I carried on in my disobedience because I was scared. Not knowing that my maker had good things planned for me and by not obeying, I was holding those blessings at bay. Fear and obedience is a funny combo. One I don’t recommend.

Finally, I came to a place where I could trust Jesus enough to just obey, and things worked out pretty good. No, that is a terribly under-exaggerated statement. Life as I know it would not be as wonderful and delightful as it is now, had I not obeyed. Lets just say, I’m glad I finally gave in!

*Chime-y music begins again, as we make our way back to the present…*

So, here we are. I need to tell about Marks job situation.

We’ve been learning and growing so much in the past 2 years. We’ve received greater direction for our lives and very clear ideals that we wish to live by. The new line of thought is very multi-faceted, and we know we’re just on the brink of a lifetime of discovering what God has for us and how He wants us to live. Part of this revelation included an avoidance of being patrons of large corporations and a self employed non-dependant-on-any-particular-company kind of lifestyle. So, it seemed sort of funny, for example, to not shop at Walmart, while Mark was selling phones for Verizon Wireless in order to earn money for us to live. You know? Well, it was probably in August of ‘09, when we both, separately felt that it was time for Mark to quite his job working for Verizon Wireless. Easy enough. No. We were scared. How can you just quit a good job when you have a family to take care of? So we waited. In other words, we were being disobedient to the one who has the very best for us. Because of fear.

Life was not very pretty in that time frame. I’m not saying that God went out of his way to make us miserable. I am saying that as we were increasingly, willingly moving outside of his perfect intentions for us, we were becoming less and less happy.

Finally, on the Sunday before Thanksgiving, we decided we had enough. Sitting in the nursing mothers room at our church, with no one around but us, we remembered how we had been disobedient before, and how we had conquered fear and submitted to the good things that God had in store for us (remember the dream sequence?) Having remembered this we fully realized that we could no longer, having any sort of a brain, continue being disobedient. So it was decided, in 5 days, following “black Friday,” Mark would put in his 2 weeks notice. It was settled and we began making a list of things we could sell, in order to help us get by until we knew what was next. (sorry for the run-on sentences. It’s been one of my biggest writing flaws for as long as I can remember. If you’re reading this dad, I’M SORRY!!!!)

The next day, Mark went into work and was feeling really good about starting the 5 day countdown, when he was called to the office and dismissed from his job, due to economic reasons. WOW!

So, even though the United States government is pretty much the largest corporation there is, we qualified for unemployment, because of being fired. We would not have had that, had he quit. We took this as a sign that we were, indeed, following the perfect will of our creator. That was very exciting for us!

On top of that, when Mark first started working at Verizon, it was a really good thing for our family. But he was having a very hard time adjusting to a corporation. (he worked as a “custodial engineer” for a private college before switching to VZW) Somewhere in the first few weeks on the new job, he was reminded of the song “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” That glorious hymn became an anthem of sorts for us, Mark especially. God had indeed provided this job for him, and He was faithful to help him along the way.

Upon being laid off from Verizon, Mark gathered up his belongings, bid his farewells and got in the car. Only to turn it on and hear the beginning notes of “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” God was faithful to provide and faithful to take away. Great is His faithfulness indeed!

So what’s next?

Stay tuned. : )

Merry Christmas!

Hi friends!

Right now I’m chuckling to myself… remember that last post??? Yeah… that didn’t work the way I thought it was going to. Anyway, 3 months later and here we are. : )

So much has happened and I have too little time to tell you all about it.

Right now I’m trying to prepare for tonight’s Christmas party, bake pumpkin cheesecake bites (I’ll have to share the recipe soon!) and clean my house for when my mother-in-law comes to baby-sit… also, I have a very active 1 year old climbing all over me. Why am I blogging now? Well, because we haven’t had internet for months and we just randomly picked up a weak signal… I’m seizing opportunity. : )

The herbalist certification is slow going, but that’s okay, I knew it would take a while.

Gideon is growing like some sort of crazy smart, large vocabulary weed. I love it, he’s always coming up with the silliest of things. He loves “playing bass” just like daddy and keeps saying that in “Freb-ry-ary” he’ll be 3 and then he’ll be able to drive. When we tell him that 3 year olds are not allowed to drive he says, “okay, well, when I’m 6.” He is also completely potty trained, even through the night!

Silas is wonderful, he’s been walking since just a few weeks after his first step at 8 ½ months! He’s working on getting all 4 first year molars at once and has several delightful curls all around the back of his head. He also thinks that his big brother is the singly most, cool person in the world.

We’ve sort of, after a really long evolution of sleeping arrangements, graduated to a “family bed.” Which we know will not be permanent, but for now, in this stage of our lives, it’s good.

Mark no longer works for Verizon Wireless. We aren’t sure what the next step for us will be, but we are excited! Someday I will have to tell you the whole line of events that brought us to where we are now. We have been seeking God for what’s to come next, and so far, we haven’t heard much. But we are open to anything, including relocation. For now, Mark is just home with us, which is wonderful, especially because we’ve all been sick back and forth for weeks. He’s also trying his hand at wood working, something he’s wanted to do for a long time, but hasn’t had a chance, ‘til now.

Life is beautiful. We love Jesus, and everyday our little family becomes stronger.

Merry Christmas, peace and blessing to you and your family.

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

My how I’ve missed you! How I long to spend hours typing my thoughts, and send them into cyber space where I feel they receive some sense of validation.

I cannot describe the endless amounts of blogging topics that have run through my mind, a snapshot here, a quote there, sprinkled with little stories of my life. Alas- these things have been lost to cyber space. Only to be held in some secret part of my mind. Like Mary, Jesus’ mother, I shall take these things and ponder them in my heart. For after all, this is what I was told to do. To take a step back from the public eye, and spend this time away from you, to learn first, loneliness, and through that, dependence on my God, Jehovah.

That is not to say it has been easy, nor is to say I will never return. I simply must be obedient to the things I have been instructed to do.

Good bye again -

Janice


UPDATE
:: Mood- a little dramatic. Can you tell?

:: Kids- growing at what I deem to be an unnatural rate. TOO FAST! Beautiful, loving, teething, challenging, briliant.

:: Husband- still as goofy and corny as ever. Loved by me more now, than ever. Can’t wait to start his own business. Tired of working “for the man.” Just told me how much he LOVES the “Burts Bees Shave Cream” that we bought a few weeks ago.

:: House - Getting there. AND my beautiful sister Joy moved in with us! YAY! I’m helping her get dreadlox (I’ve seen so many spellings for that, I went with the fun one) That is not why she moved in. I’m just telling you because it’s fun. : )

:: Garden - LOVLY! Spinach. Peas. Beets. Garlic. Tomato’s. Carrots. Peppers. Flowers.

My Husban!

I just want to take some time to talk about my husband.

Because really, he’s quite wonderful!

I came down with a pretty hearty sinus/head cold. (Can you catch a virus via blog? Because I read about sick people, then came down with something… just wondering…)

I was feeling awful, Silas had the same kind of thing that I did, so we were up a lot. Mark was exhausted because Gideon had decided to wake up extra early. We got in bed after a long, long day, and, despite his exhaustion, he immediately pulled out our massage book. He was looking up acupressure points for relieving sinus pressure and neck/shoulder pain. I didn’t ask for it, at all, he just did it. (It actually helped quite a bit, it was temporary relief, but relief just the same.)

Here’s the thing though, Mark didn’t get up with Gideon because I was sick. Mark didn’t search our book shelves for the massage book. Mark got up with Gideon because that’s what he does. Every morning that he doesn’t have to work opening shift, he gets up with Gideon. Mark knew exactly where the massage book was, because it’s always right by our bed, because nearly every night he massages my feet, or my shoulders, or my arms, or my back, or my face (which sounds kind of weird, but feels incredible!) Obviously, because he has a book to reference, he’s not just doing a half hearted, lazy massage. He cares enough to spend at least a few minutes before each massage to check certain pressure points, techniques, or special information about the area that he’s working on. I know that’s not normal. My husband is extraordinary!

I could go on writing page after page of all the amazing things he does, and all the wonderful things I love about Mark. I will, however only keep it at this - he loves me so much, and he figures out how to show me that he does. I feel that I don’t deserve him, which is why I’m so thankful that love is not something you must deserve.

I genuinely love to spend time with him. He is my best friend. He is my favorite.

I know not all of my readers are married, but for those of you who are, I encourage you to take some time to see how your spouse is showing you that he loves you. So I guess, consider yourself tagged - Tell me how great your spouse is too. : ) Remember that no one is perfect, and most are almost completely flawed, but focusing on even just a small act of kindness is unusually uplifting. The really great part about speaking good of another, is you can’t speak wrong of them at the same time! : ) Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it might impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speak be put away from you, with malice. (assuming malice is already put away from you… if it’s not, do it all at once.) And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

P.S. I have to give my beautiful sister-in-law special credit, because she gave me the massage book along with some wonderful massage lotion a few years ago for Christmas. Thanks Kate!

P.P.S. For those of you not married, just pick someone, anyone, to write about. Or write about Jesus, we all need to hear about how wonderful He is. : )

Ethical consumerism - Save more, live better?

~Lifestyle - Reducing our standard of living. Looking at every possible way to “cut back.” Sharing, blessing, giving. Selflessness. ~

So, I feel a little silly. The other day, at my parents house, Mark was looking up his usual on-line news sites. There was a little news clip that said something about lowering your standard of living. “Cool, can you play that? It’s kind of funny, that I’ve been blogging about it, and here’s a clip on the same sort of thing.” with a bit of a giggle in his voice he said “Jane, the “standard of living” topic is all over the place. That’s kind of the new biggest news coverage stuff.” “Oh, uh, well, okay. That’s what I get for staying home with the kids all day, with no internet, no TV reception and only the tri-county newspaper to keep me up to date.” : )

APPARENTLY, Anyone who hasn’t been living under a rock has had this “standard of living” stuff coming at them from all sides. So, if I’ve simply been redundant , in adding to the clamor of abc, nbc, cnn, fox news and all the others out there. I’m sorry. Truly I am. I do, however, hope that, unlike the standard media, I have helped to shed a positive light on this subject. I honestly believe that for the average American to WILLFULLY REDUCE their standard of living would be a really good thing. Not because you have to, not because you’re fearful in the presence of a sickly economy, but because you want to have more. More to share, more to bless with, more to give.

Walmart’s new catch phrase is “save more, live better.” (I like “rollback with a smile” better… why’d they have to go and try to get sophisticated? It’s Walmart for goodness sake!) Anyway - I’m still not sure how I feel about this new catch phrase. If the idea of saving, is cutting back on excessive spending, and the idea of living better is living with a higher commitment to charity;

char·i·ty n
1. organization providing charity: an organization that collects money and other voluntary contributions of help for people in need
2. provision of help: the voluntary provision of money, materials, or help to people in need
3. material help: money, materials, or help voluntarily given to people in need
4. tolerant attitude: the willingness to judge people in a tolerant or favorable way
5. impartial love: the impartial love of other people, especially as a Christian virtue

[12th century. Via French charité < Latin caritas < carus "dear"]
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
Then I’m all for it. Somehow, I don’t think that’s what they mean… We can, however, glean from this slogan, and choose to save, in order to live more charitably, better.

I read somewhere (disclaimer- I’m just passing along a rumor, I believe it, but quote me not, and do not consider this your daily history lesson) that the idea of a “standard of living” was concocted by the US government, shortly after the industrial revolution. They realized that the average American no longer needed to work to survive. I suppose that people understood that their government wouldn’t just let them starve or die from exposure. So, the government came up with ways to encourage Americans to continually aim for a higher standard of living.

But, when is enough , enough?

God save us from the American dream!

“There is enough to meet everyone’s need, not everyone’s greed” - Gandhi

Funny how God works. This morning we were watching Veggie Tales “Gideon - tube warrior” and I was so comforted when I heard “pa grape” say to “Larry the cucumber” “Trust Him [God] Gideon, He’ll never let you down.” Now, as I write, I hear Steve Green singing on i-tunes Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.” (This childrens CD is great, “Hide ‘em in your heart” by Steve Green)

I’ll leave you with that.

This concludes “Ethical Consumerism - by Janice Leverenz” Tune in next time to read…

Parenting Perks

So, Mark and I just came up with another really good reason to have kids.

All for the sake of entertaining your children, you can run around the house singing at the top of your lungs and dance like a crazy person. It doesn’t matter whose around, or what circumstances you’re under.

If you feel like being silly, you can do it, and “it’s okay, ‘cause you’ve got kids…”

Follow most any peculiar whim (like singing the veggie tales theme song in strange voices) and your kids love it.
You’re entertaining them.

Make funny faces and put your clothes on backwards.

Almost anything goes.

If you did those things without kids, (In high school, I actually think I did most of these things) you may be thought of as crazy…

But now, we’re just thought of as parents! : )

P.S. That's Joy, my sister. She's an aunt, I guess that's okay too...

Advent - take one

So, I’ve been really excited about this Christmas season. Last year (for Christmas time), Gideon was only 10 months old. Even though I talked all about it, I don’t think an infant can grasp the magnificent story of Christ’s birth, life, death and resurrection?

This year (although we do have an infant) we have a toddler to share the story of Christmas with. A few nights ago we got out the advent book with 25 different mini books inside, one for every day in December up ‘til Christmas, each has a little gold string (for hanging on our non existent Christmas tree.) We started a few days late so we had some catching up to do. Gideon sat on daddy’s lap, snuggled into his chest, holding his favorite stuffed penguin. Mark began to read, but Gideon was so taken by the tiny book that daddy was reading from, Mark couldn’t continue reading. After much struggle, we finished book one, Mark decided to stand to read book 2 (so that Gideon wouldn’t try to take it from him.) As Mark read from book 2 Gideon sat on the floor at daddy’s feet drinking water from his sippy cup. Right before I could even finish the thought “what a nice, quiet, way to spend a few minutes each night reflecting on Christ’s birth.” Gideon began crying and ran to the fridge “Juice! Please! Juice!” (daddy told him after dinner, that he couldn’t have anymore juice.) We dealt with the situation, finally got things calmed down, and Mark went back to reading. But Gideon began crying again. That’s when I realized, Mark kept reading “The Romans made life hard for the Jews. They treated them harshly…”

Jews and Juice sound pretty similar.

Maybe We’ll use the advent book next year. : )

The story of Silas' birth

STOP!

Okay, if you’re a guy, go ahead and read, just be warned, I didn’t make things specifically un-detailed. I’m the queen of details and though this is not graphic, it may be uncomfortable reading.

For those of you who love details, before reading this, scroll down and read the previous 2 posts.

For the rest of you, enjoy skimming through my second birth story. : )



Early Sunday morning, about 3:00 am - Contractions start, abdominal and back, quite regular, about 8 minutes apart. I was able to sleep off and on most of the morning, got up and showered, contractions were closer now, about every 4 -6 minuets. We timed them for about an hour, then called my Dr. at about 1:30 we arrive at the hospital. We check in, go to triage and my favorite nurse, Beth, comes in, “here you are! We had a room all ready for you this morning at 9:00, we left 2 messages for you, you were supposed to be induced this morning.” (Fist of all, since when has it been okay to leave a voicemail for scheduling a dr.’s appointment, especially one like a labor induction?!? Second, how can they just go ahead and set up a room for me, when I haven’t even consented to induction yet?!?) Ugh, anyway, I’m thinking “well, I’m in labor now, haha!” : ) So, they check me over, they don’t think I’m in labor, they think I’m dehydrated… they can’t get any IV.’s in me, I am REALLY dehydrated (remember, I was VERY sick.) Finally, they had the anesthesiologist come in, he got a vein, and they started a drip of fluids. 2 bags later, I was still having contractions, but they were farther apart and less intense. They decide it’s time to induce. I’m sick of fighting, I feel like my body is gearing up for labor anyway, I give in. At 2:00 pm Sunday Nov 23rd they start inducing with a little pill called me-zo (I’m spelling it phonetically, because I have no idea how it’s actually spelled. Plus, that’s just the nickname.) They use it internally, instead of orally, it’s supposed to “ripen the cervix” I’m given this stuff once every 4 hours, I had 4 doses, not much change, still contracting. I was able to sleep, Mark and my mom were switching back and forth, trying to catch some sleep on the little pull out cot.… at about 4:00 am on Monday morning we call my sister Joy and my mother-in-law and tell them to come in because my contractions were getting closer and more uncomfortable (Mind you, I was in labor for only 6 hours with Gideon and from “active labor” to “transition” to him being born, happened VERY quick, we didn‘t want them to miss anything.) at 7:45 my Dr. broke my water, I was 3 cm dilated. (Then she proceeded to leave the hospital to go into the office, sorry Janice, But you’re not delivering on my time… maybe I’ll get to deliver baby # 3.) There was next to no cervical change all morning. At 11:00 am they asked me to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10, I say “8 or 9” which was more then the last time they asked. Then the Dr. has the nerve to ask the nurse, “Is it really getting worse?” hoping that the monitors will tell them better than I can, the nurse says “No, she is the same she’s been all morning” apparently, the stupid machine knows my pain better then I do. They said I was maybe 5 cm, so they were going to start pitocin, “or just give me a ‘whiff of pit’” (ugh, I hate the medical propaganda, seriously, I think there is an underground religion of medical professionals that worship the “wonder drug” that is pitocin.) Anyway, They started a pitocin drip of 2... Which I guess is 2 parts pitocin to 500 parts whatever it is that they were hydrating me with (saline? I don’t know…) Literally, within 5 minutes of them starting the drip I exclaimed in the middle of a contraction “I think I need to push!” I start trembling and crying… Commotion happens… My substitute Dr. comes in “What? We just checked her, I don’t think she has to push.” She checks again, I’m at 5 ½ cm, “she’s fine, we’ll be delivering this baby in a few hours.” 5 minutes and 2 contractions later I say it again “this baby’s coming!” my mother-in-law runs out to get the nurse again. They come in, check and “oh look, the baby’s head is crowning… guess she was in active labor after all.” I pushed for 10 minutes and out came our beautiful baby boy, Silas Noah Leverenz. Then, despite my birth plan, they upped my pitocin for the after birth.

So, it was not an ideal birth, and my plan was not followed as closely as I was hoping it would be. But, in the end we had a healthy mama and a healthy baby, which is what matters most. Next time, I’m having a home birth, even if that means I need to move to Texas for a month so that Hannah can deliver my baby. : ) If I knew that it was going to go this way, I would have tried harder to figure out a way to have a homebirth this time, or at least an out of hospital one.


P.S. I’m going to give Mark public props, he is the BEST labor and delivery coach I could ask for. I love the connection that we have when we’re bringing our children into the world, together. He can read me like a book, and knows exactly what I need. He’s pretty much the best, he’s my favorite!

The crazy week leading up to the birth of Silas

(I started writing this prior to giving birth, then finished it afterward)

This week has been hard! Due to being; terribly uncomfortable, stir crazy from bed rest, worried about induction, and insane as I watch the house that I’ve kept so clean this month, (In hopes of bringing a new baby into a tidy, organized home) simply turn disastrous in a matter of days. (Mark tried really hard, but… lets just say, he’s not a professional home-maker.)

Here is an account of what’s gone on this week, the week that has felt as long as a month.

Thursday Nov. 13th - Regular weekly Dr.’s appointment. Dr. says: “Oh, I’m really surprised you’ve made it past 40 weeks, it should be any day now. I’ll be out of town this weekend, we’ll do a non stress test on Monday… if you haven’t had this baby yet.”

Over the weekend - I’m having regular contractions, several really strong ones. I have a head cold, and feeling kind of tired. Mixed emotions, “I want to have this baby” battling “my Dr.’s out of town, I’d really like her to be here this time.”

Monday morning (17th) - 8:30, My mom picks us up, we drop Gideon off at my mother-in-law’s, we go into the hospital for the nst. 9:00, I’m hooked up to the monitors, baby sounds great, slight contractions, high blood pressure. 9:30, blood pressure still high, but gradually going down to a less dangerous spot. 10:00 I’m thrown into a whirlwind. Mark is trying to get in contact with me, no cell phone reception, I’m hooked up to the monitors in bed so I can’t use another phone, he decides to come. Before I know it I’m told we’re going to go ahead with an induction. I’m admitted, in a hospital gown, hooked up to more monitors. Mark is running back home to pick stuff up. My dad called and prayed for me, I then burst into tears. A nurse comes in to do a random room check, she sees me, inquires a little, then sends in my nurse and Dr. “what’s wrong?” they ask empathetically. “I DON’T WANT TO BE INDUCED!” Was my not so calm response (I’m still working on standing up for my patients rights, rather than letting the medical profession make every decision for me…) They then realized that this was a real concern for me, I whole heartedly did not think it was in my baby’s best interest for us to induce, and it was not just an attempt to have a perfect pie in the sky granola birth. 1:30, They agree to discharge me as long as I adhere to bed rest, and I take every test imaginable to ensure that this baby is healthy, and I can continue waiting for my body to do what it was designed to do. Every test came back negative. I did not have preeclampsia. I was okay, the baby was okay. (that’s what they were afraid of, I had preeclampsia for Gideon’s pregnancy, and they thought I had it again.)
Wednesday - Mark and I go in to office for another nst, we pass with flying colors. Turns out I’m the talk of the office. “Some crazy girl has made it to 41 weeks gestation and she doesn’t want us to induce!!!” Even the receptionists were talking about it. I didn’t get to see my Dr., so I was talking with a different one, who said, “usually this is such an easy call to make, we literally don’t know what to do with you at this point.” (Supposedly most woman are begging for inductions at 38-39 weeks.) I was told that my Dr. would call me that night or the day after.

Thursday - I’m doing well on bed rest… stir crazy, but I don’t want my BP to go up, I was being good. : ) No call from my Dr.

Friday - No call

Saturday Morning - Still no call. At this point I think something is up, but heck, she wants to induce me, and I don’t want her too. I’m not going to call just so I can argue my case AGAIN!
Saturday Evening - Within minutes of each other Mark and I both come down with the flu. It was NOT pretty. Vomiting and everything else you can imagine. We were miserable. Thankfully (for us) we were at my parents house when we got sick, so we had plenty of caretakers for ourselves and Gideon. (This was the FIRST instance where we were both sick at the same time. It‘s harder then being sick back to back) We hardly slept that night.

Raising boys - Should violent play be aloud?

“See that? You’re having a boy!” exclaimed the ultrasound technician. Perfect! 2 boys, brothers. Close in age, they’ll take care of each other, and together, be role models for future siblings, and watch over any sisters they might have. 2 boys! We started calling our families and my brother John said “wow! Jane, you’re a mom of men!” “What? No, they’re just babies. They’re not men. I can take care of babies, I have no clue how to be a mom to men!”

As Gideon is getting older, and daily showing less signs of infanthood, and more signs of boyhood, I’m faced with a specific conflict. Is it possible to raise a boy to be a man who defends justice, protects the weak and helpless and stands up for what is right, without allowing violent play? Is it possible to raise them to be that way with violent play?

I joke with Jeffrey (my younger brother) about how I’m not a pacifist, I’m a peaceful activist. It’s rather silly, seeing as how I’m rarely active in expressing my beliefs. And honestly, still coming to my own conclusions on so many issues, that I may not even know where to start most kinds of activism.

I am going to try to refrain from making blanket statements or using any kind of generalities. With that said, I am going to avoid disclaimers as much as possible, if someone actually wants to comment on this blog, I’d love some free discussion.

I do not want any of my sons (and obviously my daughters) to join the military, any branch. I don’t believe that Jesus would have done any such thing, and regardless of what happened in the Old Testament, I see NO evidence in the New Testament that such a thing is honoring to God.
The dilemma? Do I allow my sons to “reenact” battles from wars of our history? Does the learning opportunity outweigh the moral? Do the moral issues involved in war actually give me an avenue to teach my sons about social injustice? If I never want them to participate in the killing of human beings legal or otherwise, how can I allow it in their play time?

Carol - http://www.thoughts-of-home.blogspot.com/ put a post up about a week ago giving great gift giving advice. She had several links to articles and other blogs, that analyzed play and such… the one I chose to read was called “band, bang! You’re dead.” It was interesting. I read it, Mark read it, and we’ve been discussing it whenever we get a chance. The other night we stayed up WAY too late, because we couldn’t stop chatting. (sometimes, when bed time comes around, my husband and I are more like little girls at a sleepover, rather than a married couple with a toddler and a baby on the way… wow, not that I’m calling Mark a little girl… man, that sounds bad… anyway…) The author of this article had many interesting points. I wish I just had a recording of the 3 hour conversation we had on this, it was riveting. (everything seems more insightful late at night, don’t you think?) Over the next few weeks, I’m going to try to do my best to recap the conclusions we came to. The reasons for why such conclusions were made, and what we intend to allow in our home, and for our family.

Choose Glory

:: For the last couple of weeks, in Youth Group, we’ve been reading the book of Philippians. Last night, on a slight tangent and whim of my husband‘s, we began to discuss glory. Just figuring out what it looked like, what it was, what is glorious… one of the guys began to tell us about a discussion that he had with Mark a few nights ago when they were out taking a walk back behind my parents house. He didn’t say what they had been talking about, only that they were amazed at how everything they saw was declaring the glory of the Lord. There was a brilliant full moon illuminating wisps of clouds, and all the stars were shining they’re brightest, attempting to assist the moon. They went on describing the beautiful country night, noting that every blade of grass, and every leaf that was present was declaring Gods glory. Simply by being what it was meant to be, creation was glorifying God.

:: Glorifying God was on my mind this morning at about 10:30. We were driving in the car when Gideon, from the back seat exclaimed with great excitement “the MOON!” “No, it’s day time honey, the moon’s not out right now” I replied, “moon” he said again. I looked in the direction that he was pointing, and lo I beheld, the moon. It was no brighter than any of the puffs of clouds, and honestly, I’m surprised that he didn’t just pass it off as being a round cloud. But there it was, still declaring the glory of the Lord, along with the rest of the earth on this dazzling autumn morning.
Gideon is always so excited to see the moon, we say hello to it, we say goodnight to it, we sit outside under a blanket and point to the sky saying, “MOON! STARS! MOON! LOOK!” I’m not sure what it is about the moon that makes him so excited, but I just love to watch him delight in all of Gods creation.

:: God’s creation is something that no child can ignore, it is ingrained in them to delight in their surroundings. To examine bugs, and pick flowers, feel tree bark, admire color and dirt and the sky and wind. Gideon doesn’t have to be taught to enjoy these things. Yet, we have to be taught to acknowledge the creator of these things. As I see Gideon discovering the world that he’s exposed to, I am inclined to recognize Gods creation - my son. As I see Gideon, simply being what he was created to be, I am shown the glory of God. Gideon, being a child, is declaring to the world that Gods fame, His bigness, His splendor… is real! Just like the moon, by being the moon, declares the same.

:: In the “Weight of Glory” C.S. Lewis talks about the fact that humans are given the choice to glorify God or not. Unlike the rest of creation that simply has to be, in order to glorify the Creator. We are required to choose.

:: I exhort you to choose glory. Be who God has created you to be. Take a lesson from all of creation and in every moment of existence, declare the glory of our creator!

What can you buy for 20 bucks?

So I’ve mentioned before, money is tight for us. To be honest, I like it that way. Don’t get me wrong, I know God has more in store for us, and there are definite things that He’s calling us to do in the future, things that require money. I’m excited for that stage of our lives, and I know that it will be better than I can imagine. But, for now, God has us here. Yes, I believe that God has us in the financial state that we are in. It’s not something that needs a “name it and claim it” kind of attitude. It’s not something we need to rebuke. Our needs are being met in INCREDIBLE ways, and we are not going without. God is showing us His unbelievable favor, and doing it quite creatively too!

Marks Aunt Mary passed away last week. Mark believes she truly knew the Lord, and so with all of her health problems, it really was a blessing for her. My mother-in-law (Laurie) has been working tirelessly all week, sorting through Aunt Mary’s apartment. Laurie has this incredible gift, I don’t even know what to call it, maybe it’s a gift of helps. But she has this magnetic pull that just draws stuff to her garage, (possibly the cleanest garage ever!) the funny part about that it that she doesn’t like to have a lot of things lying around. (an attribute I well admire and must learn!) The part where the genuine gift comes in, is that she knows exactly who needs what, at what time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought “Oh, I could really use… too bad I can’t afford to buy that right now” and within a day I’ll get a call “hi Jan, it’s mom, Leverenz, listen, I have… here in my garage, could you use it?” No joke, a few months back I decided that I really ought to start using cloth diapers diligently, (we don’t have any credit cards so what we spend, we must have) “I really need more than the 3 diapers I got at my baby shower.” I thought. Then, “Hi Jan, it’s mom, Leverenz…” Somehow, she had a stack of pre-folds and diaper pins! The same goes with Dressers, stand up fans, beds, groceries, EVERYTHING! It’s pretty cool. So, anyway, we were really in need of a few grocery items, and Aunt Mary had a pantry full of the things I was in need of. Out of six kids in Marks family, a church full of people and plenty of neighbors, Laurie knew that we were in need of those things. God provides!

I am using cloth diapers almost 100%, I only use a disposable at night. (on Gideon of course) : ) And it’s so funny, I really enjoy it. Yeah, I enjoy washing poop off of fabric, go figure. LOL, well, I guess I just enjoy the fact that I’m being ecological and economical, it’s highly liberating. I love hanging the freshly washed diapers on the line, and seeing how clean I got them, after knowing how dirty they were. It truly gives me joy. I love that the money that Mark earns for this family isn’t being thrown away with a pile of crap, in a weird way, I feel like using cloth diapers is honoring my husbands hard work.

I love to do menu planning. Sometimes I don’t do it, because our budget doesn’t require it. I get lazy and then I just don’t do it. But every time I need to, I enjoy it so much. I should write a memo somewhere saying “You like to menu plan remember? Just do it!” It’s been fun, (my mom has brought some groceries over as well the last few weeks, and Joy will come over with like a gallon of milk or something, she says “God told me to do it”) So now, every time we sit down to eat dinner I say, the only part of this meal that we paid for is… and it’s something silly like the parmesan cheese. : ) God provides!

Gideon was in need of some autumn shirts, I saw an advertisement on Craig’s list for a “shop-aholic moms garage sale” there was a list of items that she had that we could use. So my friend Melissa and I set out to find this sale. I had 20 bucks in my wallet. I found 4 shirts for Gideon and 2 pairs of pants and 1 shirt for the new baby. We then noticed that there was a great farmers market down the road, so we went there. With my change from the garage sale, I bought a LB of local honey, (We were in need of it, seeing as how it’s allergy season) an eggplant, 2 huge bunches of lettuce (red leaf and a dark green,) and peaches. All of that, came to exactly $20.00. It was so fun to see how much I could buy when aiming for frugality. : ) Not to mention the ethical consumerism that was practiced here, but that’s for another day, and another blog.

I guess I just want to encourage all who are feeling the lack of funds. It’s hard sometimes, but try to find joy in this time of stretching. Don’t be afraid to brainstorm and come up with a few ideas out of the ordinary. Don’t be discouraged if you’re a stay at home mom and feeling like you’re not helping your husband out. My friend Liz said the other day “isn’t cool that the best thing we can do to help our families finances is stay home and not spend money?” It’s so true. Trust in God and obey, He’ll take care of the rest!

What a week!

Yes indeed, quite a week it’s been!

:: I’ve had some sort of Hormone surge or something, and at some moments it’s all I can do to not burst out into tears over NOTHING! I think it could be linked to the fact that I haven’t breastfed Gideon in over a week, and perhaps my body is trying to regulate a little… I don’t know, last time I went through the weaning process I was the baby. : )

:: I have ALSO had a really great week as far as the spiritual is concerned. On Wed. we took a 2 hour drive to visit my parents who were camping with a group of very wonderful people. They were having a time of fellowship and had twice a day tent meetings. We made it there just in time to grab a snack and head over to the first meeting. Oh, LET ME TELL YOU, these people knew how to worship God - with full abandon - everyone was expressing their worship in a different way and it was BEAUTIFUL! There was a fantastic time of ministry, where Mark and I (and the new baby) had plenty of good, encouraging words spoken over us. God saw what we needed and, surprise, surprise, He met those needs. I can’t tell you how refreshing that day was! Seriously, I could blog a 7 page rant about how badly I/we needed to be there, how encouraging it was to see the church acting the way it ought to, with complete LOVE, no hidden agenda, no ulterior motives, acceptance of one another … the way the early church was…

:: On the other hand, God knew we needed to be there, because the next day and the following days brought some discouragement, and we were able to stand and say, “It doesn’t matter what it looks like, God spoke these words to us, and we are believing that just like every other time in our lives, He will meet our needs, and carry us through this time!” I’m not going to go on and on about all that’s happened, primarily it’s financial… Mark has been actively applying for sales positions (he’s currently in customer care…) and time after time the interviews go really well, there seems to be a glimpse of hope and then regretfully, the interviewee calls and says, “Mark, I really wanted to give you this job but because of, x.y.z., I had to give it to…” So, it’s been a little difficult. (A sales job would put us in a really good financial state, it would free us up to do the kinds of things that we really feel God is leading our family to do.) However, we keep seeing that God knows SO much better than we do, and he has our best interest in mind.

:: Gideon, of man, he’s so cute, he’s so smart! But this kid… *sigh*… he’s developed quite a little whine. I can’t even type the kind of noise that he makes when he’s upset… it’s like nails on a chalk board for me. Also, he’s been built to be a big brother to MANY children, because he constantly needs someone to play with. When he finally starts playing on his own, he just moves stuff around. The pile of shoes by the door become scattered about the floor, the doormat must be pulled out to the middle of the floor, every cardboard box waiting to be taken out to the recycling box it strewn over the house… and get this, he really wants it to be that way, he gets upset when I start putting them away. (He tells me this by doing a little stomping dance and making that awful noise I previously described.) I place my brown flip-flop in the corner where it ought to be, he picks it up and puts it right in the SAME spot he wanted it to be. What a kid. I actually began disciplining him for it. I wasn’t sure at first, but I realized that for my own sanity and in order to have a sufficient amount of grace with him for the whole day, it would be better for all involved if I just taught him not to do that after I’ve picked it all up. Hello toddler hood, right?

:: There is so much more to my week than these things, what was I thinking trying to compact them all into one blog entry?!?

Okay, so, this is becoming such a long entry that I don’t think anyone will actually read this whole thing. That’s okay though, I am a verbal processor, I blog for my own benefit. If you happen to read it, I hope it benefits you, but it’s primary purpose is to lasso my own thoughts into something tangible, therefore clearing my mind for other purposes.

A little photo update

So, yesterday, I said I was going to help paint the trim, I totally lied. I didn't even touch a paint brush apart from handing it to Mark.

I'm not sure how the crowbar was helping daddy, but Gideon sure was proud of it!

However, I did do something worth while, at least it was a fun learning experience. :-)

V

I took a pair of 7th grade "oh-so-punk" plaid pants (not so cute for a mom) and made a long pair of play shorts for Gideon, and a pair of plaid Bermudas for me (Which is a little more on the trendy side than the pants)

I got the idea for the play shorts from Danica's Blog, and kind of just ran with it. I sowed it by hand and made SO may mistakes.

At first I was happy with the way the top part turned out, but the legs were too wide, it looked like he was wearing a skirt, or kilt at best. :-) So I took in the legs from the inseam, which made the top too small to adequately cover a diapered bum. But they're good for around the house, and I think if I put a long shirt on with them he'll be able to wear them elsewhere.

The other mistake that I made (in a very pregnant brainless moment) was on the front of the shorts I sowed the seam inside out. I'm not sure if you can see it in the photo, but I made a pretend fly and sowed on a button to cover up the seam. I think
it made them look cuter too. :-)

I've been in such a sowing mood for months, I'm glad to start finally getting it out of my system, I've been looking on-line for all sorts of patterns/ideas, and have so many projects bouncing around in my head!

P.S. The pants were fresh out of the wash, I'm hoping they'll stretch a little on me and won't be so, um... fitted.

A little white wash should do the trick

I'm SO excited, in just a few min.'s Mark and I are going to go paint our trim! Well, Marks going to paint, I'm going to help a little, (whatever I can reach without climbing a ladder.) :-) The trim in our front yard is in dire need of a new coat. Once the trim is finished, we’ll then hang (hopefully) our new window boxes! YAY! Our front yard has looked a little trashy since we’ve been here. We use the back of our house as the entrance and that’s where you park as well, so we’ve pretty much kept up that side of the house, the front… not so much. Our primary outdoor goal this summer is getting the front looking a little less shabby, I think for the most part it’s getting there (considering the budget we have for it.) :-)


Mark has been SO faithful to use his days off to do some yard/house work even if it’s just a little bit at a time. Last week he pulled all of our trees out of our gutter garden. WHAT A MAN!
I can’t wait to be able to plant a few things, even if they’re just shrubs! My garden in the front is in a bloom change, where as all of the early summer flowers are pretty much gone and now the later summer flowers are just blossoming. I’m happy with it, though it could be much better. (I don’t actually spend much time in the garden.) I’m sure once we get a fenced in area for Gideon to play in I’ll have more of a chance to work in my garden, for now ~ I pull one weed, chase Gideon to keep him from going near the road, water one plant, chase Gideon, pull another weed, chase Gideon, rotate a potted plant, chase Gideon… ~ I usually end up forgetting the weeds and just start playing with Gideon. ~Water Gideon while I’m chasing him.~ It’s all about consolidating your chores, right!?!


Tell me about your outdoor chores/hopes this summer. I’d love to hear about them.


Maybe I’ll post a few photos for your viewing pleasure. ‘Til then, I’m off to beautify our little corner of the world.