Merry Christmas!

Hi friends!

Right now I’m chuckling to myself… remember that last post??? Yeah… that didn’t work the way I thought it was going to. Anyway, 3 months later and here we are. : )

So much has happened and I have too little time to tell you all about it.

Right now I’m trying to prepare for tonight’s Christmas party, bake pumpkin cheesecake bites (I’ll have to share the recipe soon!) and clean my house for when my mother-in-law comes to baby-sit… also, I have a very active 1 year old climbing all over me. Why am I blogging now? Well, because we haven’t had internet for months and we just randomly picked up a weak signal… I’m seizing opportunity. : )

The herbalist certification is slow going, but that’s okay, I knew it would take a while.

Gideon is growing like some sort of crazy smart, large vocabulary weed. I love it, he’s always coming up with the silliest of things. He loves “playing bass” just like daddy and keeps saying that in “Freb-ry-ary” he’ll be 3 and then he’ll be able to drive. When we tell him that 3 year olds are not allowed to drive he says, “okay, well, when I’m 6.” He is also completely potty trained, even through the night!

Silas is wonderful, he’s been walking since just a few weeks after his first step at 8 ½ months! He’s working on getting all 4 first year molars at once and has several delightful curls all around the back of his head. He also thinks that his big brother is the singly most, cool person in the world.

We’ve sort of, after a really long evolution of sleeping arrangements, graduated to a “family bed.” Which we know will not be permanent, but for now, in this stage of our lives, it’s good.

Mark no longer works for Verizon Wireless. We aren’t sure what the next step for us will be, but we are excited! Someday I will have to tell you the whole line of events that brought us to where we are now. We have been seeking God for what’s to come next, and so far, we haven’t heard much. But we are open to anything, including relocation. For now, Mark is just home with us, which is wonderful, especially because we’ve all been sick back and forth for weeks. He’s also trying his hand at wood working, something he’s wanted to do for a long time, but hasn’t had a chance, ‘til now.

Life is beautiful. We love Jesus, and everyday our little family becomes stronger.

Merry Christmas, peace and blessing to you and your family.

Love is worth it

Oh to be like Jesus.

My soul is in a hurricane of sorts. The atmosphere of this home is one of strife and turmoil. My poor son, 2 ½ years old, dealing bitterly with his sinful nature, this small person, so very much human. I can see that both his 2 year old sized body and 2 year old sized mind are being overwhelmed with all that it is to be human. His strong will, his sinful urges, his raw emotion. I can see just how exhausted he is from putting up this fight, yet how unwilling he is to yield to peace.

I see me.

I see the tumult within myself as I try to suppress the actions that want to make a raging display as my toddler does the same.

I need to find a shelter from the storm. I need to find a place that, despite my surroundings, is peaceful and calm and collected.

It’s 10:00 am, and Gideon is taking his nap now. 2 hours early. He needed the rest. Me too.

To live love is my prayer. To show true love, even amidst adversity, is the greatest thing I could accomplish in this life. I want to do it in my home, behind closed doors, in view of the ones that need me to show them the most love.

It’s quiet.

Peaceful.

I just realized that I chose my “Birthing- playlist 2” mix on i-tunes.

To give birth to love is painful. It is difficult and just when you think you can’t do it, just when you think it will never end, just when you think that to die would be better, you start pushing, pressing, releasing and then… love is here.

Love is no easy feat.

Love is worth it.

It’s worth the slaying of your selfishness. It’s worth yielding to peace. It’s worth the sacrifice of will. It’s worth the submission of the need to defend yourself.

Love is worth it.

“… Love; joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…”

I want to be like Jesus. I want to love, truly.

The hurricane has died down. Strife and turmoil are far from here. Love reigns.

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

My how I’ve missed you! How I long to spend hours typing my thoughts, and send them into cyber space where I feel they receive some sense of validation.

I cannot describe the endless amounts of blogging topics that have run through my mind, a snapshot here, a quote there, sprinkled with little stories of my life. Alas- these things have been lost to cyber space. Only to be held in some secret part of my mind. Like Mary, Jesus’ mother, I shall take these things and ponder them in my heart. For after all, this is what I was told to do. To take a step back from the public eye, and spend this time away from you, to learn first, loneliness, and through that, dependence on my God, Jehovah.

That is not to say it has been easy, nor is to say I will never return. I simply must be obedient to the things I have been instructed to do.

Good bye again -

Janice


UPDATE
:: Mood- a little dramatic. Can you tell?

:: Kids- growing at what I deem to be an unnatural rate. TOO FAST! Beautiful, loving, teething, challenging, briliant.

:: Husband- still as goofy and corny as ever. Loved by me more now, than ever. Can’t wait to start his own business. Tired of working “for the man.” Just told me how much he LOVES the “Burts Bees Shave Cream” that we bought a few weeks ago.

:: House - Getting there. AND my beautiful sister Joy moved in with us! YAY! I’m helping her get dreadlox (I’ve seen so many spellings for that, I went with the fun one) That is not why she moved in. I’m just telling you because it’s fun. : )

:: Garden - LOVLY! Spinach. Peas. Beets. Garlic. Tomato’s. Carrots. Peppers. Flowers.

A boring update

I feel like it’s been a while, although, it hasn’t. I think it’s because I have a foot long list of all the things I want to write about, but haven’t had a chance to.

First off I’d like to say HE DID IT!!!!!! Gideon used his “big boy potty” once on Sunday and once yesterday! We are very excited. I’m sure we have a long way to go, seeing as he’s still quite young for potty training, but it was exciting just the same. : )

On Sunday we left town for a couples retreat, we brought both kids with us. Silas, for obvious reasons, and Gideon, just because I don’t like to leave my boy. : ) My lovely sister Jenessa came along to help out. So, although we had 2 kids and a sister in our room, and didn’t get a minute of alone time, we were so blessed by the retreat. It was actually meant for pastors and their wives, but Mark played on the worship team with 2 other non-pastors, and because all 3 couples are in ministry, it worked out just fine. The times that we had to sing songs in praise and worship to our God were so amazing! There was a man there who came specifically to minister to the couples in prayer. God really spoke through that man and the other couples, and Mark and I were so encouraged to hear the things that God had to say to us. We had a great time.

One thing that we heard at this retreat, was a confirmation of some of the revelation that Mark and I have been having, that we believed is God inspired. God has been showing us a lot about holiness, and what it means for us, as second generation Christians. Our parents and the parents of most second generation Christians, became Christians during the “holiness movement” of the “Jesus People.” Trying to find our niche in the Christian faith, as the people born to the “Jesus People,” has proved to be a little difficult for this generation. God has been showing Mark and I some things about this, and I’ve really enjoyed being able to learn and discover more about where we fit in the picture. So, I hope to be able to post something soon, sharing my thoughts on this.

I suppose this is all for now. : )

Sorry about the potty talk

So, I thought I’d give a little update as to how our “potty training time” is going.

Unfortunately, that’s as deep as I’ll get today. I’ve longed to sit and write deeply, but I feel that that takes much more time than a few little goofy thoughts on life. : ) My friends, time, is not something I have to spare these days. : )

Anyway, on potty training -

The day after I posted about potty training Gideon, was our official kick off to the process. I did not do well. I was so psyched about it that I started way to fast, expecting way too much.
He didn’t wear a diaper all day (except for at nap time.) Instead of a diaper he wore training pants, big boy boxers and nothing. : )

My sister Jenessa was hanging out with us that day, so it was good to have her around to hold Silas, read to Gideon as he sat on his potty , and oh yeah, help me clean up EVERY ACCIDENT!
This boy had accident after accident, and I still, somehow thought that I was to allow him to go commando, or whatever diaper less is called. With every accident he had I was very calm, told him it was okay, had him sit on the potty, changed him into fresh underwear...

But then, it happened. Uninhibited chaos struck our home when I turned to say “okay Gideon, it’s time to sit on the potty again” (I could tell something that was a little more solid than urine was going to come, you know, you just learn your kids cues.) He said, as he’s often prone to say “no way!“ and turned and ran around our coffee table, his little bum cheeks clapping as he ran. And then, out it fell, through one of the leg holes in the boxers (what was I thinking? Boxers, at 23 months old?) And I calmly replied “AH! GIDEON GET OVER HERE, AH! NO! DON’T STEP IN IT! NESSA, TAKE SILAS! COME HERE, IT’S ON YOUR SOCK! SIT HERE, DON’T GET UP! GIVE ME YOUR FOOT! CALM DOWN, GIDEON, CALM DOWN! LAY SILAS IN THE CRIB, GET ME A BAG, GRAB THE VINEGAR! UNDER THE SINK, NO NOT THE DISH TOWEL! OH MY GOSH, YOU STEPPED IT IN AGAIN!!! WIPES! JUST GRAB THE WIPES. GIDEON… AHHHH!!!!” And then, it was over, everything was cleaned up. Gideon was sitting on the potty, Jenessa was holding Silas and I was kneeling next to my poor stressed out toddler. “I’m sorry Gideon. Mommy didn’t use self control when I was yelling that way. Yelling didn’t help the situation at all. Will you forgive me?”

He just smiled and said “hug” and then he laid his head on my shoulder and let out the saddest sigh I’d ever heard from a toddler. We bounced back quick from that little tragedy, and had 1 or 2 more accidents that evening. Then wisdom was finally able to say something on the matter and I asked Gideon if he was ready to put a diaper on. Never in his life had he been so happy to wear a diaper. We put his PJ’s on and snuggled as we shared a gingerbread cookie.
Gideon, we’ll take this as slow as you need to.

It’s now nearly 2 weeks later and we’ve had no accidents, his little potty has been sat on many times, but between sitting on it he usually wears a diaper. He hasn’t “gone potty” yet, but I think he’s close.

P.S. We’re working on the “no way” thing… I don’t know where he got that?

When Love has run of a house

I just came down the stairs. It’s nap time now, Gideon is snuggly tucked into bed already snoring, and Silas is cuddled up tight to me, inside the Moby Wrap.
It’s kind of rare these days to leave Gideon’s bedroom while he’s sleeping. Usually he needs to fall asleep on his own. We pray, then I sing, but he typically needs to be alone to finally give in and let sleep take over.

Today, he wanted me to sit on the rocking chair while I sang (I think it’s because Silas was with us this time, he usually lays in the basinet while I’m putting Gideon to sleep) But today he said “mamma, baby rock-chair” and as I sang and rocked, Gideon peeped through the crib slats and watched me cradle his brother and sing songs to Jesus.

I can’t explain the look on Gideon’s face, as his beautiful blue eyes blinked slowly, trying to stay locked with mine. It was like at that moment, I was his whole world. I looked down at Silas snuggled close to me, limp with the most peaceful of sleeps. This feeling of awe came over me. “What an incredible job I have!” I thought, as I watched Gideon let go, and give in to his much needed nap. I was taken over by immense gratitude, for being considered worthy of caring for these 2 boys. I thought of the way I felt about my mom, as she sang me to sleep, and I was brought to tears at the thought of someone feeling the same way about me.
This love, my friends, is worth it. It’s worth every dirty diaper, every sleepless night, every tear.
This week has been stressful for me, mostly, I assume, because of hormones trying to balance out as my body remembers what it’s like to not be pregnant. But the stress of this week was melted away, dissolved, disintegrated, at that very moment of intense love.

Stress = mistrust, mistrust = fear, where there is fear, there is an absence of love.

1 John 4:18 (The Message)
To Love, to Be Loved
17-18 God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry… There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life… is one not yet fully formed in love.
&
2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James) For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

I thank God that most days, Love has the run of this house. I pray that someday soon, I’ll allow Love the run of this house EVERYDAY. I pray that I’ll learn the truths of walking on Love every moment of my life. Because Love, is a powerful thing.

May Love have the run of your house, and may this beautiful kind of moment, become personal to you!

Adventures in potty training

So, we’ve begun the daunting task of potty training! (Okay, well, I’ve been potty trained for a while now. I’ve begun to potty train Gideon.) : )

Over the summer I think Gideon was ready, but seeing as how I was very pregnant and heat tends to give me plenty of morning sickness, I just wasn’t ready to start training him. I considered it an accomplishment to drag myself off the couch in order to keep up on disciplining him when he disobeyed. So, I wasn’t about to make things even more difficult! (Can you imagine how many times I’d be up and down with disciplining a toddler AND potty training him) Ha, as if no one has ever done it… I’m acting as if it were this HUGE sacrifice… well, at any rate, I didn’t do it this summer, and now we’re beginning.

I can’t explain why, but there are a few aspects of childrearing that are VERY scary for me. Starting with potty training, next being puberty, (don’t ask me why, I just feel totally intimidated by having to parent an adolescent boy!!!) and last being the entrance into a pre marriage relationship. (dating, courting, betrothal, engagement… whatever) These three milestones are highly intimidating to me!

But, we’ve reached the brink of milestone one, and I’m feeling like I’m facing potty training as if it were a big growling dog. On the outside, I’m smiling, and showing this animal NO FEAR, I’m relaxed and ready to take it on. But inside, I’m crying, “AHHH!!!! ITS GONNA EAT ME!!!! WE WON’T MAKE IT OUT ALIVE!!!!”

Help me out moms, have you felt this way?

I need some tips.

We’ve bought the “big boy potty,” “big boy boxers” and a cute little book to go along with them. Gideon really likes his book, wears the boxers on his head, and is warming up to the potty. So far, I feel good about these things.

But the questions I’m facing are, “do I use ‘treats’ as a reward?” “What actions do I reward?” “Is there ever a point where you begin disciplining for the on purpose “accidents?” (not that we’ve had any, I’m just saying.)

You know, these are the kinds of things I’m feeling so very insure about.

Yet, over and over again, I hear my moms voice saying “just listen to the Holy Spirit, as he leads and guides you through your mothering” and then I hear that verse again,

Isaiah 40:11
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

I know God cares for the small things, and the small ones. I know God will help us, but, maybe if everyone tells me what’s worked for them, the Holy Spirit will guide me as I sift through your advice. : )

Parenting Perks

So, Mark and I just came up with another really good reason to have kids.

All for the sake of entertaining your children, you can run around the house singing at the top of your lungs and dance like a crazy person. It doesn’t matter whose around, or what circumstances you’re under.

If you feel like being silly, you can do it, and “it’s okay, ‘cause you’ve got kids…”

Follow most any peculiar whim (like singing the veggie tales theme song in strange voices) and your kids love it.
You’re entertaining them.

Make funny faces and put your clothes on backwards.

Almost anything goes.

If you did those things without kids, (In high school, I actually think I did most of these things) you may be thought of as crazy…

But now, we’re just thought of as parents! : )

P.S. That's Joy, my sister. She's an aunt, I guess that's okay too...

Advent - take one

So, I’ve been really excited about this Christmas season. Last year (for Christmas time), Gideon was only 10 months old. Even though I talked all about it, I don’t think an infant can grasp the magnificent story of Christ’s birth, life, death and resurrection?

This year (although we do have an infant) we have a toddler to share the story of Christmas with. A few nights ago we got out the advent book with 25 different mini books inside, one for every day in December up ‘til Christmas, each has a little gold string (for hanging on our non existent Christmas tree.) We started a few days late so we had some catching up to do. Gideon sat on daddy’s lap, snuggled into his chest, holding his favorite stuffed penguin. Mark began to read, but Gideon was so taken by the tiny book that daddy was reading from, Mark couldn’t continue reading. After much struggle, we finished book one, Mark decided to stand to read book 2 (so that Gideon wouldn’t try to take it from him.) As Mark read from book 2 Gideon sat on the floor at daddy’s feet drinking water from his sippy cup. Right before I could even finish the thought “what a nice, quiet, way to spend a few minutes each night reflecting on Christ’s birth.” Gideon began crying and ran to the fridge “Juice! Please! Juice!” (daddy told him after dinner, that he couldn’t have anymore juice.) We dealt with the situation, finally got things calmed down, and Mark went back to reading. But Gideon began crying again. That’s when I realized, Mark kept reading “The Romans made life hard for the Jews. They treated them harshly…”

Jews and Juice sound pretty similar.

Maybe We’ll use the advent book next year. : )

Raising boys - Should violent play be aloud?

“See that? You’re having a boy!” exclaimed the ultrasound technician. Perfect! 2 boys, brothers. Close in age, they’ll take care of each other, and together, be role models for future siblings, and watch over any sisters they might have. 2 boys! We started calling our families and my brother John said “wow! Jane, you’re a mom of men!” “What? No, they’re just babies. They’re not men. I can take care of babies, I have no clue how to be a mom to men!”

As Gideon is getting older, and daily showing less signs of infanthood, and more signs of boyhood, I’m faced with a specific conflict. Is it possible to raise a boy to be a man who defends justice, protects the weak and helpless and stands up for what is right, without allowing violent play? Is it possible to raise them to be that way with violent play?

I joke with Jeffrey (my younger brother) about how I’m not a pacifist, I’m a peaceful activist. It’s rather silly, seeing as how I’m rarely active in expressing my beliefs. And honestly, still coming to my own conclusions on so many issues, that I may not even know where to start most kinds of activism.

I am going to try to refrain from making blanket statements or using any kind of generalities. With that said, I am going to avoid disclaimers as much as possible, if someone actually wants to comment on this blog, I’d love some free discussion.

I do not want any of my sons (and obviously my daughters) to join the military, any branch. I don’t believe that Jesus would have done any such thing, and regardless of what happened in the Old Testament, I see NO evidence in the New Testament that such a thing is honoring to God.
The dilemma? Do I allow my sons to “reenact” battles from wars of our history? Does the learning opportunity outweigh the moral? Do the moral issues involved in war actually give me an avenue to teach my sons about social injustice? If I never want them to participate in the killing of human beings legal or otherwise, how can I allow it in their play time?

Carol - http://www.thoughts-of-home.blogspot.com/ put a post up about a week ago giving great gift giving advice. She had several links to articles and other blogs, that analyzed play and such… the one I chose to read was called “band, bang! You’re dead.” It was interesting. I read it, Mark read it, and we’ve been discussing it whenever we get a chance. The other night we stayed up WAY too late, because we couldn’t stop chatting. (sometimes, when bed time comes around, my husband and I are more like little girls at a sleepover, rather than a married couple with a toddler and a baby on the way… wow, not that I’m calling Mark a little girl… man, that sounds bad… anyway…) The author of this article had many interesting points. I wish I just had a recording of the 3 hour conversation we had on this, it was riveting. (everything seems more insightful late at night, don’t you think?) Over the next few weeks, I’m going to try to do my best to recap the conclusions we came to. The reasons for why such conclusions were made, and what we intend to allow in our home, and for our family.

Choose Glory

:: For the last couple of weeks, in Youth Group, we’ve been reading the book of Philippians. Last night, on a slight tangent and whim of my husband‘s, we began to discuss glory. Just figuring out what it looked like, what it was, what is glorious… one of the guys began to tell us about a discussion that he had with Mark a few nights ago when they were out taking a walk back behind my parents house. He didn’t say what they had been talking about, only that they were amazed at how everything they saw was declaring the glory of the Lord. There was a brilliant full moon illuminating wisps of clouds, and all the stars were shining they’re brightest, attempting to assist the moon. They went on describing the beautiful country night, noting that every blade of grass, and every leaf that was present was declaring Gods glory. Simply by being what it was meant to be, creation was glorifying God.

:: Glorifying God was on my mind this morning at about 10:30. We were driving in the car when Gideon, from the back seat exclaimed with great excitement “the MOON!” “No, it’s day time honey, the moon’s not out right now” I replied, “moon” he said again. I looked in the direction that he was pointing, and lo I beheld, the moon. It was no brighter than any of the puffs of clouds, and honestly, I’m surprised that he didn’t just pass it off as being a round cloud. But there it was, still declaring the glory of the Lord, along with the rest of the earth on this dazzling autumn morning.
Gideon is always so excited to see the moon, we say hello to it, we say goodnight to it, we sit outside under a blanket and point to the sky saying, “MOON! STARS! MOON! LOOK!” I’m not sure what it is about the moon that makes him so excited, but I just love to watch him delight in all of Gods creation.

:: God’s creation is something that no child can ignore, it is ingrained in them to delight in their surroundings. To examine bugs, and pick flowers, feel tree bark, admire color and dirt and the sky and wind. Gideon doesn’t have to be taught to enjoy these things. Yet, we have to be taught to acknowledge the creator of these things. As I see Gideon discovering the world that he’s exposed to, I am inclined to recognize Gods creation - my son. As I see Gideon, simply being what he was created to be, I am shown the glory of God. Gideon, being a child, is declaring to the world that Gods fame, His bigness, His splendor… is real! Just like the moon, by being the moon, declares the same.

:: In the “Weight of Glory” C.S. Lewis talks about the fact that humans are given the choice to glorify God or not. Unlike the rest of creation that simply has to be, in order to glorify the Creator. We are required to choose.

:: I exhort you to choose glory. Be who God has created you to be. Take a lesson from all of creation and in every moment of existence, declare the glory of our creator!

What a week!

Yes indeed, quite a week it’s been!

:: I’ve had some sort of Hormone surge or something, and at some moments it’s all I can do to not burst out into tears over NOTHING! I think it could be linked to the fact that I haven’t breastfed Gideon in over a week, and perhaps my body is trying to regulate a little… I don’t know, last time I went through the weaning process I was the baby. : )

:: I have ALSO had a really great week as far as the spiritual is concerned. On Wed. we took a 2 hour drive to visit my parents who were camping with a group of very wonderful people. They were having a time of fellowship and had twice a day tent meetings. We made it there just in time to grab a snack and head over to the first meeting. Oh, LET ME TELL YOU, these people knew how to worship God - with full abandon - everyone was expressing their worship in a different way and it was BEAUTIFUL! There was a fantastic time of ministry, where Mark and I (and the new baby) had plenty of good, encouraging words spoken over us. God saw what we needed and, surprise, surprise, He met those needs. I can’t tell you how refreshing that day was! Seriously, I could blog a 7 page rant about how badly I/we needed to be there, how encouraging it was to see the church acting the way it ought to, with complete LOVE, no hidden agenda, no ulterior motives, acceptance of one another … the way the early church was…

:: On the other hand, God knew we needed to be there, because the next day and the following days brought some discouragement, and we were able to stand and say, “It doesn’t matter what it looks like, God spoke these words to us, and we are believing that just like every other time in our lives, He will meet our needs, and carry us through this time!” I’m not going to go on and on about all that’s happened, primarily it’s financial… Mark has been actively applying for sales positions (he’s currently in customer care…) and time after time the interviews go really well, there seems to be a glimpse of hope and then regretfully, the interviewee calls and says, “Mark, I really wanted to give you this job but because of, x.y.z., I had to give it to…” So, it’s been a little difficult. (A sales job would put us in a really good financial state, it would free us up to do the kinds of things that we really feel God is leading our family to do.) However, we keep seeing that God knows SO much better than we do, and he has our best interest in mind.

:: Gideon, of man, he’s so cute, he’s so smart! But this kid… *sigh*… he’s developed quite a little whine. I can’t even type the kind of noise that he makes when he’s upset… it’s like nails on a chalk board for me. Also, he’s been built to be a big brother to MANY children, because he constantly needs someone to play with. When he finally starts playing on his own, he just moves stuff around. The pile of shoes by the door become scattered about the floor, the doormat must be pulled out to the middle of the floor, every cardboard box waiting to be taken out to the recycling box it strewn over the house… and get this, he really wants it to be that way, he gets upset when I start putting them away. (He tells me this by doing a little stomping dance and making that awful noise I previously described.) I place my brown flip-flop in the corner where it ought to be, he picks it up and puts it right in the SAME spot he wanted it to be. What a kid. I actually began disciplining him for it. I wasn’t sure at first, but I realized that for my own sanity and in order to have a sufficient amount of grace with him for the whole day, it would be better for all involved if I just taught him not to do that after I’ve picked it all up. Hello toddler hood, right?

:: There is so much more to my week than these things, what was I thinking trying to compact them all into one blog entry?!?

Okay, so, this is becoming such a long entry that I don’t think anyone will actually read this whole thing. That’s okay though, I am a verbal processor, I blog for my own benefit. If you happen to read it, I hope it benefits you, but it’s primary purpose is to lasso my own thoughts into something tangible, therefore clearing my mind for other purposes.

A morning trip to triage

So yesterday, was a bit of a crazy day. Gideon was in bed with us, nursing away like any usual morning. I was in and out of sleep, trying to buy any extra minuets I could, when I started getting really uncomfortable, I was having back pain and A LOT of Braxton Hicks, my whole abdomen went rock hard. That’s when I woke up. “Hmm,” I thought, “It’s unusual for me to feel this bad already. This is how it gets at night after a really hard day.” I stayed in bed Gideon stopped nursing and began exploring our bedroom as Mark and I kept one eye each on Gideon and with the other eye, still tried to sleep. (I’m describing a very typical morning for us.) As time drew on I realized I was having a lot more contractions than what is common for the irregular Braxton Hicks. At 8:15 I began timing them, they weren’t terrible, and not very long, But my Dr. told me that if I had more than 6 an hour to call her. Every 6 minuets, lasting about 30 seconds each, and that was after it calmed down. I called my Dr.’s office and they told me to go into the hospital where my Dr. was on call. We dropped Gideon off at my parents house and headed out to the Hospital. I signed in and waited in triage as they hooked up the monitors. Baby’s fine, mama’s still having some contractions, “Here drink this… internal exam… just a fingertip dilated, tell me about your morning, tell me about last night… beep, beep, beep… whoosh, whoosh… there‘s an active little boy in there… everything seems okay… a little more time on the monitor… we‘ll give you a shot to stop the contractions… you‘ll feel awful from it though… you‘re doing okay, we can send you home, don‘t do x.y.z… call us if a.b.c. happens…” Pretty much sums up the 3 hours we spent there. Thank the Lord I’m not on bed rest! They just told me to take it easy.

I was advised to stop breastfeeding seeing as how within the last week or so, every time Gideon nursed, (or rather pacified, having no milk left) I would start contracting, and that’s what I was doing when it all started. Yesterday morning was the last time we did it, and he’s actually doing really well with it. He only has asked for it prior to a nap or bed time, and when I say “No, I’m sorry, we can’t do that right now” he just lays his head back on my shoulder and rests as I rub his back and sing worship songs. Over the last month I’ve tried not to make nursing the primary focus of our bed time routine, making it much more about snuggling, singing and a back rub. I must admit, I cried last night, it was hard for me to say “no” to his request for nursing before bed, I’ve said “no” during the day before, and it wasn’t a big deal for me, but for some reason the night time nursing was just hard for me to deny him. He didn’t seem to mind, and I am sort of relieved that I won’t have to figure out how to work our regular nursing routine in with the new baby’s demanding schedule. And if he sees the new baby nursing and decides he wants to try again, I think I’m okay with that.

So, this is my little story, and perhaps the closing chapter of my first breastfeeding experience.

Please, pray for us though, I want this little baby boy coming no sooner than he’s ready. I don’t want to go on bed rest, and I want to continue to be the hands on, playing on the floor, chasing him around, active mom that I’ve been for Gideon all along. I would so appreciate it, Thanks!

A little photo update

So, yesterday, I said I was going to help paint the trim, I totally lied. I didn't even touch a paint brush apart from handing it to Mark.

I'm not sure how the crowbar was helping daddy, but Gideon sure was proud of it!

However, I did do something worth while, at least it was a fun learning experience. :-)

V

I took a pair of 7th grade "oh-so-punk" plaid pants (not so cute for a mom) and made a long pair of play shorts for Gideon, and a pair of plaid Bermudas for me (Which is a little more on the trendy side than the pants)

I got the idea for the play shorts from Danica's Blog, and kind of just ran with it. I sowed it by hand and made SO may mistakes.

At first I was happy with the way the top part turned out, but the legs were too wide, it looked like he was wearing a skirt, or kilt at best. :-) So I took in the legs from the inseam, which made the top too small to adequately cover a diapered bum. But they're good for around the house, and I think if I put a long shirt on with them he'll be able to wear them elsewhere.

The other mistake that I made (in a very pregnant brainless moment) was on the front of the shorts I sowed the seam inside out. I'm not sure if you can see it in the photo, but I made a pretend fly and sowed on a button to cover up the seam. I think
it made them look cuter too. :-)

I've been in such a sowing mood for months, I'm glad to start finally getting it out of my system, I've been looking on-line for all sorts of patterns/ideas, and have so many projects bouncing around in my head!

P.S. The pants were fresh out of the wash, I'm hoping they'll stretch a little on me and won't be so, um... fitted.

A little white wash should do the trick

I'm SO excited, in just a few min.'s Mark and I are going to go paint our trim! Well, Marks going to paint, I'm going to help a little, (whatever I can reach without climbing a ladder.) :-) The trim in our front yard is in dire need of a new coat. Once the trim is finished, we’ll then hang (hopefully) our new window boxes! YAY! Our front yard has looked a little trashy since we’ve been here. We use the back of our house as the entrance and that’s where you park as well, so we’ve pretty much kept up that side of the house, the front… not so much. Our primary outdoor goal this summer is getting the front looking a little less shabby, I think for the most part it’s getting there (considering the budget we have for it.) :-)


Mark has been SO faithful to use his days off to do some yard/house work even if it’s just a little bit at a time. Last week he pulled all of our trees out of our gutter garden. WHAT A MAN!
I can’t wait to be able to plant a few things, even if they’re just shrubs! My garden in the front is in a bloom change, where as all of the early summer flowers are pretty much gone and now the later summer flowers are just blossoming. I’m happy with it, though it could be much better. (I don’t actually spend much time in the garden.) I’m sure once we get a fenced in area for Gideon to play in I’ll have more of a chance to work in my garden, for now ~ I pull one weed, chase Gideon to keep him from going near the road, water one plant, chase Gideon, pull another weed, chase Gideon, rotate a potted plant, chase Gideon… ~ I usually end up forgetting the weeds and just start playing with Gideon. ~Water Gideon while I’m chasing him.~ It’s all about consolidating your chores, right!?!


Tell me about your outdoor chores/hopes this summer. I’d love to hear about them.


Maybe I’ll post a few photos for your viewing pleasure. ‘Til then, I’m off to beautify our little corner of the world.

Footprints in the fryingpan

How do things happen? As a mom (I know I say this all the time when blogging, but hey, that’s what’s on my mind…) I keep getting hit with this sense of aw as to how some things happen, nothing big, just little, totally out of the norm, kind of things. Several weeks ago I was going to make stir fry, I pulled out my frying pan, and there were 2 little Gideon sized foot prints in it. I know Gideon had been playing with the pots and pans, but footprints… common, that’s just weird.

:: A few days ago Gideon was refusing to nap, every so often he does this, I think he wants to see just how far I’ll let him go before rescuing him. Usually when he dose this he’ll cry for like 20 min’s, give up, and fall asleep. But the other day he cried for an hour and a half, with no sign of stopping. I went up to his room and he just looked SO tired, but was refusing to sleep. My thought process was as follows, “He really needs a nap. He’s so tired, he’s just being stubborn. If I let him get up now, what will happen tomorrow? He’ll probably cry for over 2 hours. He wants to nurse, I can’t get him up!” And before I knew it I was hoisting my big pregnant body into his crib, I lied down with him to nurse, within 2 min.’s he was out like a light “What am I doing in here? Now I’m stuck! If I try to climb out it’ll wake him up, gosh, I wish I had a pillow…” We napped in his crib for about an hour, I woke with an incredibly stiff neck. I slept in a crib… what the heck?

:: This morning Gideon has been a bit whinny/clingy, I finally got him occupied long enough to run to the bathroom to pee, as I was sitting there I realized “wow, my toenail polish is really chipped,” so I grabbed the bottle of red nail polish and globed it on, the task was complete before I was done peeing. It was a sloppy job, but the task was accomplished… Why am I painting my toenails while I’m on the toilet?

:: We have a little basket of bath toys hanging in our shower, it’s totally normal to see a few rubber duckies and squirting toys… why is my pampered chef rubber spatula in the shower, and why haven‘t I taken it out yet?